550 civil servants followed over 30 years.

> After adjustment for numerous potential confounders, alcohol use was associated with reduced right hippocampal volume in a dose dependent manner; even moderate drinkers (classified as up to 21 units a week for men at the time of the study) were three times more likely to have hippocampal atrophy than abstainers, and very light drinking (1-6 units a week) conferred no protection relative to abstinence. Higher alcohol consumption was also associated with reduced white matter integrity and faster decline in lexical fluency, a test of “executive function.”

> 550 civil servants

Bureaucracy causes brain damage. Those with heavier damage took refuge in alcohol.

I'm not sure if you are trying to be funny - if so, you've succeeded. However, this also reads to me like a very plausible explanation. I like the idea of specifically studying this component further.

It's amusing, and also, supported by no less evidence than the causality in the headline.

Yes, along with an unlimited number of variants.

e.g. Stress due to civil service job arises from specific problems. Alcohol is used as a form of distraction and prevents those problems from being solved, resulting in stress-damage to the hippocampal areas.

Agreed; I've seen studies relating stress (especially over time) to decrease of cognitive function. I've observed the same in myself.

Fwiw, two glasses of wine a week is what I'd call moderate consumption of alcohol. Where I live, most people drink far too much.

I too think there might be something to this (partly because both my parents were civil servants). There is a certain amount of creativity and problem-solving at the management level, but bureaucracy selects for people who adhere pretty strictly to rules and I'm not sure how the study authors could easily account for this.