It's amusing, and also, supported by no less evidence than the causality in the headline.

Yes, along with an unlimited number of variants.

e.g. Stress due to civil service job arises from specific problems. Alcohol is used as a form of distraction and prevents those problems from being solved, resulting in stress-damage to the hippocampal areas.

Agreed; I've seen studies relating stress (especially over time) to decrease of cognitive function. I've observed the same in myself.

Fwiw, two glasses of wine a week is what I'd call moderate consumption of alcohol. Where I live, most people drink far too much.

I too think there might be something to this (partly because both my parents were civil servants). There is a certain amount of creativity and problem-solving at the management level, but bureaucracy selects for people who adhere pretty strictly to rules and I'm not sure how the study authors could easily account for this.