A big reason I haven't been posting anything in months (years!) is I think what I have to say isn't very novel or interesting.
"Time is limited, make every day count." Yeah yeah yeah. We know. Everyone knows.
Took a sudden death and a lot of sobbing today to make me say fuggit and just write, without worrying about being novel or unique.
I ordinarily don't care about upvotes, but something so unoriginal (but hopefully important) as this getting upvoted by my peers on HN is really encouraging.
I also find myself thinking that my writing is not original enough to bother sharing, or my music, or my programming side projects. If nothing else your post has got me thinking about the need to just get over "lack of originality" as an excuse for not doing something. Originality doesn't just show up, torn from the thigh of Zeus - we need to start putting stuff out there now to get where we want.
For what it's worth, I think the personal tone of this piece makes it interesting. The theme might be "time is limited" but it would be selling it short to simply reduce it down to that.
> "Time is limited, make every day count." Yeah yeah yeah. We know. Everyone knows.
Everyone knows, but we still need reminding every now and then.
In August someone I care deeply about was diagnosed with leukaemia. It was a big shock and taught me how precious time is, yet already I find myself slipping back into the mindlessness of everyday life.
You know me by my real name. We talked in the past. I use a pseudonym so what I write here is not affected by my name and I have better feedback or just go unnoticed(just your name alone could make all the responses negative or positive).
As you already know, what someone who has traveled the world* considers "normal" is very different from what the rest of the world does. You just understand how much you know when just talking with normal people and you see how less they know.
Remember the Parable of the talents, how fear could immobilize, fear of not doing good enough work.
What I would do is to start writing, not caring about publishing or not, you don't need fear. Then ideas will come and you will be astonished how much things live in your head.
The animation from your book, "Obvious to you. Amazing to others." https://vimeo.com/25494440 is something that's really stuck with me ever since I saw it about a year ago. Excellent advice for helping consciously and rationally overcome the tendency to inhibit one's own creative output.
You may not always say something novel or unique but I have enjoyed some of your posts immensely and if you aren't writing you may never write the next post that greatly affects someone.
It's good that you are adding your voice to the chorus, even if someone else might be singing the same notes. There is no law that says that truth and insight, once spoken, should never be spoken again! :)
First off, saying something is always worth doing.
Secondly, even if it is something others have said, only one person can say it with your experience and your voice. You. That makes it novel in some shape, form or fashion. Something people always seem to forget because they get so distracted by said concept of novel and unique.
You linked to the War of Art in your post, and letting the concept of novel and unique get in the way is a more insidious form of the Resistance talking. I know, because I let it stop me for a long time. Now I try to write more regularly and hone my craft so I can create something to bring my own unique self and experience to the table and try and give that to others to inspire them as well.
I'm getting this lesson a lot lately, from my almost-2 daughter. The things I think are important, aren't. The things I think are trivial, end up being important.
I just put her to bed, and I'd like to leave the rocking chair and go sit with my wife. Right now, just having someone here is the most important thing to her.
As I read about this, it both breaks my heart and inspires me to live different. I have been touched deeply by many people. I hope I can have the opportunity to touch at least one life as deeply as mine has been.
Rest assured, Derek... your writing has touched lives. Mine included. Please... write more. Priorities will shift, but whatever you do, please don't stop writing!
Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. As a devote cyclist it always hits me hard to hear of another cyclist being injured - especially when it appears as though it was through no fault of their own.
Maybe it's not as obvious to you but, I feel, your writing adds some much needed colourful philosophy to our community. As you say yourself, all too often we end up with our heads buried deep in virtual technical problems and forget to embrace the world that surrounds us. I can't count how many people I've shown your leadership talk to [0].
Just write. My wife and kid have been doing http://nanowrimo.org/ the last few years to force themselves to write something every day. My daughter (12) loves it.
When you are feeling better about this can you return with a follow up article for the HN audience?
I have read the news reporting and I just don't understand how he came to be hit and for the result of that to be so terrible. Something in the reporting just does not add up and I could do with some normal person rather than a journalist to make sense of it for me.
I am a cyclist and I have a vested interest in knowing how to avoid deadly situations. In my experience to date accidents are always unexpected, however, with hindsight, so much could have been avoidable. Negligence is not always 100% one party or the other, even if it is 0.5% negligence on my side and 99.5% on the other side, there is still something in my control. There are easy wins like having a maintained bike, with lights, high-visibility clothing and no headphones being worn. There are also more subtle ones like confidence, not being deferential to motor cars and having pedal cleats correctly placed.
Was there anything that your friend could have done differently? Was there anything in the layout of the street that could have been different? What was the totally unexpected thing that other cyclists including myself need to add to their internal database of random hazards to look out for?
Given that this is police investigating police a considered and independent study of what actually happened could be of great use.
I suspect we'll find out more, but it doesn't seem he could've done anything different other than not being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As much as we want to make sense of tragedies, sometimes there's no sense to be found.
Life is fragile. Especially on a bike. I once survived getting hit at 30mph and I can't even remember all of the stories I was told about how lucky I was.
I probably heard about a dozen different ways children of friends (I'm Dutch) died from just being hit at 5mph and hitting their head the wrong way when falling.
It's indeed not mandatory. Biking in general is still much safer than in the US though since we have a strong biking culture, good infrastructure (separate bike lanes and traffic lights) and laws that (nearly) always hold the car responsible for any damages.
I'm an avid reader of your blog, and though I would agree much of your content can be ultimately summed down to "unoriginal, but important" content, it's you sharing your own experience & perspective that makes it meaningful. Same reasons facts don't persuade as well as stories.
Sad & happy to hear you will continue to crank out words.
Reading what other people write is how many people learn, they learn that they are normal, and they learn perhaps other little tidbits - though in learning they are normal, that they are not alone. No one is never alone, even in solitude - though our current technology-driven society we are very much pulled towards loneliness.
There is more than six billion people living in Earth, and I bet that there is at least one person getting something valuable out of ones writing. It doesn't matter if it is not 'novel or unique' as long as it is "out there" :)
I 'dropped out' of my life of making video games this summer, got rid of everything I own and set off on a journey across the US by bicycle. Every day I wake up in my tent and make a conscious decision to climb on the bike, with an awareness that something amazingly bad might happen, however something amazingly good might also happen. I so far have been fortunate for I have enjoyed lots of amazingly good moments, and have learned it is an acceptance of the prospect of very bad things that makes the trip more remarkable.
Your writings of your baddass journey have always been inspiring.. I'm so sorry about your friend.
Big fan of your writing. Please do write and sorry for your loss. Recently I have been trying to grasp the absurdity of life and I think truly realizing that, is a really worthwhile effort. How crazy it is that there is little blue planet floating in space around a star that is one of 100 billion billion stars and we are living on it without giving it a second thought in our day to day activities.
I agree that life is short, but I think you deserve the time to tinker with your laptop (or similar). You were enjoying it or you probably wouldn't be doing it. It's like solving a puzzle, it's worthwhile.
That said, I would (selfishly) love to read more writings. Thanks.
You try to do everything right (helmet, bike lane, daylight riding), and then a police car runs you over and kills you.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother doing anything except spending time with my family. I tell myself that I've got to pay the bills, be an adult, etc., but is it really worth it when everything can be over in an instant?
Now I'm depressing myself. Maybe reading another couple HN articles will cheer me up...
I tell myself that I've got to pay the bills, be an adult, etc., but is it really worth it when everything can be over in an instant?
One of the reasons we work is to obtain the means to do nice things with family. E.g. travelling to some beautiful mountain range and enjoying it together. Family life becomes better with variety and new experiences.
We should draw the line at somewhere. If we are working ten hour days six days a week, we have lost balance. Unfortunately, the income distribution seems to become so bad that a considerable amount of the population can do nothing else than to work.
Spend time with your family, please do. That matters.
But don't let the possibility of loss prevent you from learning, from growing, from experiencing joy. Protect and insure yourself, yes. But don't turn away from living. Create and build things you can be proud of (especially family). internet hug
It's a fair question, and I think we all need to strike that balance.
Spend 100% of time with family, and you cease to be your own person, your identity linked with theirs. Spend no time with your family, and you're filled with regret when it's too late.
Right now my parents live across the country, and given realities of day to day life (economics, vacation days, etc) it's tough to make it work for in person.
But we talk every few days to bridge divide. They still feel far away though.
So all I can say is find a way to see your family a little more than you do now. Keep repeating until you find your balance.
I've always been bothered by what I call this 'life-perspective problem", and of course, I'm always bothered more when something horrible like this happens. (The preceding statement has its own problem buried in it- because something horrible is always happening, at every second.)
I've spoken about it in other forms- "procrastination should be solved by lighting fires, not filling buckets" and so on. There is powerful emotional energy to be harnessed, but a lot of us (maybe just me, but clearly others too) have no idea how to manipulate it effectively, so we typically go without it. When we do get a flash of inspiration, the energy needs to go into a system where it generates something lasting- otherwise we just get the one-off blogpost or product that doesn't go anywhere. We get tired and everyday life dehumanizes us again.
It's the same central idea: Can we modify our circumstances and environment such that they remind us of the things that matter, in a way that disrupts us from settling into sub-optimal comfort zones?
I used to think that maybe this was a self-indulgent problem that I had, simply romanticizing the moping around, but clearly it afflicts even highly productive and accomplished persons like Mr. Sivers. Clearly this is a broader human problem- our inability to contextualize things, to see the bigger broader picture except when it's too late, or when we're unexpectedly inspired.
Is meditation the solution? I think meditation is a practice that encourages the broadening of perspective, but I'm sure there are other ways to reach the same destination- I'm sure we could design for it into our media, into our daily lives.
There is some very meaningful work to be done in this "perspective/reminder" space, but I don't know what exactly, and I don't know how to do it. But I'd like to get involved in it somehow, someday, before it's too late.
I hope this is helpful to someone. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for reading.
There is some very meaningful work to be done in this "perspective/reminder" space
This falls under the category of "knowing thyself". Each man must learn his own rhythms and behaviors well enough to build a system custom-tailored to his needs - and adapt it as he changes, too.
Even in something as simple as the Lord's prayer ("Give us today our daily bread..."), we are taught that, yes, this sort of perspective shift is required daily. And to skip it means that one will begin to drift. I heard a great phrase once, and it's that "vision leaks."
Whether in your own life or leading an organization, if you are not daily renewing the "stickiness" of your vision, it will leak.
I like to keep an ever-changing whiteboard (otherwise my brain soon ignores it) of short reminders on the wall next to my front door, and also a plain notebook that I carry everywhere for weekly to-do / prayer / big-picture reminders. Journaling helps too, but I don't do that daily.
The thing that ties it all together though is the daily restoration via a relationship with Christ, I am always learning something new in prayer and through reading the Bible. Many on HN would deny and balk at the existence of a man's soul/spirit, but what you're talking about missing has been known for thousands of years as daily spiritual renewal.
If you think the answer is a daily ritual like meditation, you'll simply grow tired of that habit quite soon. And rightfully so, it entirely misses the point of what God intended - a grace-filled and dynamic daily relationship with Him.
Riding bikes is super dangerous. I always slow down and give bikes a lot of space. I also think bike riders should ride on slower, non-busy roads whenever possible, but I'm not at all blaming bike riders.
This doesn't really tell the whole story. Riding bikes is dangerous, but the real danger here is driving a car.
When you're driving a car you are in charge of a multi-thousand pound hunk of metal with more momentum than most people can even comprehend, and the slightest jerk of a wheel can send it careening off in a completely different direction in milliseconds.
On a bike or walking with your own two feet, you're always in danger when the operator of a car isn't performing their due responsibilities.
To Sivers, I'm sorry for your loss. This article is an inspiration, and a remarkably poignant commentary on how to best make use of our fleeting time.
Without some pretty sophisticated data, I'm not sure this is true. About 30,000 people die in car accidents every year, which I wrote more about here: http://blog.seliger.com/2013/11/10/foundations-give-away-fiv... . I don't know how many died on bikes or how many miles people bike versus how many they drive.
But car accidents are so common that even deaths often don't register on the news.
There's also an interesting question about the effects of biking and other exercise on health; riding may have salutary health benefits that driving doesn't. I don't know of any studies that examine such effects but would be happy to see any studies on the issue.
I think the biggest problem is the lack of control. If someone makes a mistake, has a seizure, loses control etc, and crashes into a cyclist, the cyclist has less 'protection' around them.
According to [0], 22 people were killed on bicycles in 2012. Compare that to 81 for an ordinary car, 31 pedestrians and 11 on a motorcycle.
Accoring to [1], bike rides make up 16% of all trips in Denmark, but only 3.6% of the actual number of kilometers travelled (which isn't really surprising). According to [2], car rides make up 46% of all trips.
So even though the number of car rides are only almost 3 times bigger than the number of bike rides, the number of fatal accidents are actually almost 4 times bigger.
Edit: Oh, passengers aren't included in the 46%. They make up 12% according to [2]. So my last point isn't completely valid, its more like they're equally fatal.
My calculations were based on the number of trips, not the amount of kilometers traveled. I don't think it's quite fair to compare fatalities/kilometer, as cars obviously travel much further than bikes. You're free to disagree.
Edit: And it's not 3.6% of car kilometers, it's 3.6% of the total distance traveled, whether by car (as driver and passenger), bike, public transport, walking, motorbike and so on.
2nd edit: And for clarity, accoring to [2] above, car rides (driver + passenger) made up about 75% of kilometers traveled in 2012 in Denmark
I pretty much never get angry, but if I am a passenger in a car where the driver acts aggressively towards pedestrians or bicyclists, I totally lose my shit.
Part of getting drivers to behave better is to provide disparagement of driving aggressively from within their own car. You'd be surprised how many drivers are completely non-chalant to actively dismissive of the care and attention they should pay to others on the road not protected by a 6000 lb metal shell. That metal shell fosters road rage and road carelessness by disconnecting the drivers from the world around them. However, that metal shell won't protect them from being judged by their passengers.
Riding bikes is only dangerous in countries where murdering cyclists is apparently okay.
I found the account of the accident shocking. Of course being from the Netherlands I'm extremely biased, but from my perspective these kind of American "driver kills cyclist" accidents I keep reading are as insane as "accidentally" killing someone whilst "accidentally" pointing a loaded gun at their heads. Even with a car it's hard to kill a cyclist by accident, unless the accident results in a very unlucky fall.
Having cars around is super dangerous. It's rare for a cyclist or pedestrian to just trip themselves and fall over dead. It takes a car with a negligent or ioditic driver to run them over (and consequently, not get prosecuted because it's implied that the cyclist had it coming!). Take away the cars and instantaneously, we would eliminates hundreds of thousands of deaths. Factor in increased exercise and it's almost laughable that we're not doing this.
"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."
This was a cyclist doing, by all accounts, everything absolutely and completely right. Speculation is absolutely useless if not crass right now given this terrible, unnecessary loss, but historic odds favor the driver (an officer) being distracted in some manner, which is a growing concern that everyone in this industry needs to keep in mind.
Yes, speculation is useless. Remove the speculation and let drivers know that any incident will be recorded then everyone will stay away from cyclists.
Sorry for your loss. I used to ride my bike everywhere when I was in my late teens; these days I can't imagine doing that. All it takes is one distracted driver to cause terrible loss.
Derek -- This is a nice piece in a difficult time. I am childhood friends with one of Milt's sons and know his family appreciates all the love being sent their way. Thank you for sharing with everyone.
It took a death in my family to make me realize that I needed to "start writing again". That was several years ago and I see myself in some of the old ruts and in some that are newly worn. I wonder how many tragedies before I learn my lesson.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I've never lost a close friend so I have no idea what you are going through, but obviously if there is anything we can do to help just put out the word.
