Hmmm, I can understand getting bored and switching jobs as a way to stay stimulated, or to take on the "opportunity of a lifetime" that comes along every so often, but when there are other innocents whose lives are interrupted as a result, my empathy ends there.
Once we had children, before any were in school, my wife and I picked a place where we could reasonably expect to stay until they were finished with school, and we're still here.
Their lives are more important than mine (my amusement ranks far below), and in my opinion, a stable childhood provides the foundation to take some risk as an adult.
My parents moved us to the US when I was younger, then to England, and finally back to Israel.
There are pros and cons to moving around. Experiencing other cultures, learning new languages, and so on are all things I'm very glad happened. On the flipside, having less permanent friends, starting to study in another language when you're 13, and so on, are fairly hard.
I don't think I'm able to honestly bet on which of these is better for children.
I have to agree, based on the anecdotal evidence of my children. Moving several times, just in the same city, had a marked effect on them. It was subtle though, and unexplained, until we talked to the pediatrician about behavior. He made it very clear that children require a strong sense of home and stability for their emotional growth and security. Any sort of move can disrupt that easily.
Was this a negative effect? I stayed in the same place as a child but I could see a major benefit from experiencing different places and having to learn how to interact with new people. it wouldn't be easy as a child but there could be some lo g term benefits.
Whilst I did the same as you, who are we to say that this is best for all families? I'm sure some would adapt and thrive whilst others would be desperately unhappy.
As a former mitary wife, I am kind of personally offended that this is the top voted comment here. Being rooted in place like a plant is not the only means to raise healthy, secure kids. Ugh. I really wish this were downvoted to hell. I am so annoyed at feeling compelled to reply to this shit.
I upvoted you. My apology for any offense. I think we're talking about two different issues.
Frequent moving and deployment are part of the job description with which you were associated; nothing arbitrary or for-amusement about it.
The author declared the relative arbitrariness of his moves yet admitted, "this is extremely hard on others..." This apparently didn't carry sufficient weight in his decision process to change the outcome.
Relating my own philosophy and how I implemented it is just one anecdotal opinion to share in a discussion - not a condemning proclamation nor a cited case study backing it up as what's best for children.
Thank you for the upvote and have one in return, but, oh, boy, are you opening up a can of worms that I am sure all of hacker news does not want to get into.
In a nutshell, the military was my ex's dream job that he thought I would not support. He pursued it anyway. (Reality: I supported it. It was his mother who was against it.) He liked to play the martyr card and act like deploying was some huge personal sacrifice for the good of the family -- while telling me I could not go off to college as it would destroy the marriage -- but it absolutely was not true. He loved that shit and taking care of his family was not a super high priority of his.
Second, most heterosexual relationships go (physically) where he wants to go/where his career takes him. That is the norm. That is not some aberration on the part of the OP.* It is part of why it has been relatively easy post divorce for me to keep telling attractive men that I found hot to take a fucking hike. I want a life. I am not interested in moving back in to some fucking gilded cage. I know the stats. Most marriages are strongly skewed towards supporting male privilege at female expense. Men and women alike are typically oblivious to the degree that this is true, so I get a lot of hatred when I start talking about such things.
Anyway, that's the short version. I have done lots of reading over the years related to such issues, so I know for a fact it is not peculiar to my (former) marriage. We can just agree to disagree here and not pursue some ugly bloodbath that will only make me a lightening rod for controversy, a role I loathe.
Have a great day.
* Edit: Which the OP states he did not do anyway, so let's not give me shit over that. It suggests he's less of a selfish asshole than your average guy, possibly not a good observation to make in a predominantly male forum, exactly why I don't really want to open this can of giant, writhing worms. Ugh.
Once we had children, before any were in school, my wife and I picked a place where we could reasonably expect to stay until they were finished with school, and we're still here.
Their lives are more important than mine (my amusement ranks far below), and in my opinion, a stable childhood provides the foundation to take some risk as an adult.