This looks like an interesting way to have oats in a savory way - http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/miso-oat-porridge-recip...

Oatmeal prepared with soy sauce and green onions is awesome. It's a bit like a savory congee.

Rolled oats at least get very mushy when they are edible. They have no body like most other grains do.

I suppose that's because they are rolled. And most likely steamed as well. If you subjected wheat or corn to a similar processing, the outcome would certainly be the same.

Whole-grain oats on the other hand are pretty hardy things. You need to boil them for an hour and then chew like a horse.

Oatmeal with bacon crumbled in is delicious.

Don't the Scots eat their oats salted?

Traditionally yes, and oatcakes are pretty common here as well. Bulk produced oatcakes are sometimes sweetened and rather compressed, proper oatcakes aren't sweetened and have a much rougher texture.

This Englishman too. Sweetened oat porridge is for children :)