For me this depends very much on who it is that's trying to help.
If they've not experienced something similar to the mental health problems I'm suffering from it's usually best if they treat me as normal. The effort required to try and explain aspects of what I'm going through, usually with little success, is often far more detrimental than any benefit they could hope to provide. Being distracted from the problems, even if only for a short while, can be blissful and hugely appreciated.
On the other hand, I'm usually happy to be treated differently by people that have had similar experiences to me. I can often communicate to them in a sentence things which would take hours of conversation with somebody who'd not been there before.
It's a difficult situation for both the supporter and the supported, particularly in the early days.
> The effort required to try and explain aspects of what I'm going through, usually with little success, is often far more detrimental than any benefit they could hope to provide. Being distracted from the problems, even if only for a short while, can be blissful and hugely appreciated.
> On the other hand, I'm usually happy to be treated differently by people that have had similar experiences to me. I can often communicate to them in a sentence things which would take hours of conversation with somebody who'd not been there before.
I very much agree with both parts of what you've said here. I'm curious if & how you tend to balance between the two?
Generally when I'm having a bad time just having some casual distraction works fine, especially from someone who doesn't know what's wrong.
When I'm stuck in a rut, just having a few friends who can stop me bullshitting and keep me talking works wonders.
Most people I regularly spend time with are aware that I'm bipolar even if they aren't in the "been there" category. This is quite deliberate. When I'm well, I do my best to explain the difficulties I have during an episode to try and avoid people feeling alienated. This is not something I can do effectively whilst ill.
The result of this seems to be that when I become unwell people in this group provide me with the best kind of support that they're equipped to give while others help me talk it out.
Unfortunately this hasn't been so easy to achieve with family members as it has with friends since they're so desperate to see me well, although things are improving. Fortunately (or unfortunately) my wife is also bipolar so I don't have that problem with her.
As to balancing talking it out vs. distraction? I rapid cycle so distraction can be very effective for dealing with short-term mood swings. If I notice that I'm distracting myself a lot then that's a sign that bigger trouble is just around the corner and is when I start to seek help. My wife and I discuss the state of our mental health very frequently so there's always a certain amount of discussion going on as well.
If they've not experienced something similar to the mental health problems I'm suffering from it's usually best if they treat me as normal. The effort required to try and explain aspects of what I'm going through, usually with little success, is often far more detrimental than any benefit they could hope to provide. Being distracted from the problems, even if only for a short while, can be blissful and hugely appreciated.
On the other hand, I'm usually happy to be treated differently by people that have had similar experiences to me. I can often communicate to them in a sentence things which would take hours of conversation with somebody who'd not been there before.
It's a difficult situation for both the supporter and the supported, particularly in the early days.