You're implying that a noisy conversation is the only option and that I might be missing out? That there is no loss to sitting in a room full of people shouting at cross purposes and not being able to make myself heard without major effort? Of course there's an inherent loss: frustration, vocal strain, not having the situation go the way I want, you name it.
But what I more meant was that I construct situations where these cross-purposes conversations aren't present. If I've got six people to discuss a project with, I don't sit in a room and get them all to shout over me. There are other ways to have that discussion.
I probably should have mentioned in my original reply that I'm from the UK, which helps.
I wasn't at all implying it's the only option but rather that it's an option. I don't think you can entirely avoid discussions in that format especially if you are discussing non-professional topics like politics, how you should raise children or other highly opinionated things.
You always get to choose the people you are having a discussion with and some people have a hard time taking someone disagreeing with them. Even if the discussion might feel unpleasant in the heat of the moment I find that days or weeks after the fact, I can still have the conversation in my head and feel I've gained some insight into other peoples minds and maybe even agree with them.
So all I was implying was that they aren't entirely pointless, however frustrating they may be. I can see your point of wanting to avoid the frustration, even if I personally have quite a thick skin and don't mind it all that much.
I could mention that I'm from Sweden, but I doubt that helps at all. :) I do like to stress that I don't try start those types of discussions and I do think people who start shouting are silly, but I do argue against someone however loud their voices are. :)
EDIT: I could probably also say that I tend to stay in heated group arguments mainly because of the audience rather than whoever might be disagreeing with me. As people who tend too shout don't tend to change their mind but letting them have the only word might make the audience think that they are right.
But what I more meant was that I construct situations where these cross-purposes conversations aren't present. If I've got six people to discuss a project with, I don't sit in a room and get them all to shout over me. There are other ways to have that discussion.
I probably should have mentioned in my original reply that I'm from the UK, which helps.