The number one trait I have seen in people who are burned out is that they utterly and completely deny they are burned out. They often furiously push back on the idea. "I cannot possibly be burned out, because I have way too much to do," or something less articulate.
Admitting you're burned out is the fist step on the path back. It can take years to get back to normal and have passion again. But it will return if you take care of yourself and avoid the kind of things that send you spiraling into stress.
This was (and still is) one of my issues. I had the realization that I need a life, so I stopped working 60-80 hour weeks, but didn’t have anything to fill the time with… and even if I did, I’m too burned out to do anything.
Congrats and welcome to living your life! I know it’s overwhelming to find a new hobby or interest, just throw yourself into something and realize that you’re not going to be good at it
This is a very naive take. There are people who live paycheck to paycheck with the threat of homelessness. They can't just "accept" they have burnout, they have to work as if they don't just like any other person. I myself had a brutal burnout recently (hopefully recovering now slowly) but it was very difficult because I work on a visa and I can't afford to take a break or PTO etc. Yes I "accepted" that I'm burned out in an academic manner but almost everything my therapist offered was out of question. In that sense of course "I can't be burned out because I have too much to do." I still have to work every day, churn the churn, hustle the hustle, write the performance review forms, avoid PIPs, otherwise I'm deported in a matter of months. Managers expect exponential return every quarter!
Well in this case my friend, perhaps sometimes it's okay to go back home? I have lots of friends doing this to them, they are burned out both physically and mentally, people usually have options if they can step back a bit, do you really want to sacrifice your happiness for working abroad and become "successful"? Only you can drag yourself out as you've mentioned your therapist's solutions do not work for you, it's okay to take a break, giving it up is not giving up, but a reason to look different path, you can be truly be free only if you let yourself free.
It's not possible to do so due to having my entire life here and nothing "back home" where I haven't even visited last 15 years. I have my fiancée, my cat, my house, my career here and there I have nothing. Would you leave your future wife, mom of your future kids, and go to the other end of the world to a country you last visited when you were a kid?
In such case, I'll talk to my fiance about the situation to see if there's any thing we can do, if this person really loves you and support you, I'm sure you'll figure things out, you want a person that wish you happy, or else things will prolly only get worse even after marriage and kids, worst case, you'll trade your years happiness in a burned out state for this "future" you rely on.
One thing I realized recently is "don't put yourself in a bad state just because you have EXPECTATIONS for future", because if the future is not what you expect, you'll find yourself regretting every bit of your action, and to keep this expected future alive, you'll push yourself too hard.
Its not "naive" to limit the scope or infer what the limited scope is, in this case it's tech workers. We aren't under contract to account for everyone else who is on a visa (that they chose to undertake) or works a low wage job. The comment is correct for an implied subset of the population.
You have an identity that says you're good at something, responsible, motivated, etc. that identity is the one that talks in meetings, promises to do stuff, signs up for things, etc. This is the part that would push back on the idea of being burned out as well, because it identifies with not being that way. Part of your brain is dedicated to projecting this identity out into the world.
Meanwhile you have another part of your brain which is your actual executive function, which responds to your needs and makes you want to do things. It will try to do what the first identity says, to a point, but if it starts wear down, be bored, be frustrated, etc, it will start to fail.
What's supposed to happen is that your first identity, or rather your whole coherent self with all of its parts, recognizes that something is not working and does something: takes a break, quits, stops working so hard, changes something, adjusts the identity to be healthier, whatever.
What happens instead is that those small failures are ignored and start accumulate into a larger and larger debt, of being behind, not getting what you need, and draining yourself of executive function to keep up with it. Eventually this becomes untenable and your brain just starts to shut down.
The way out is somehow reconciling the two. I expect that it looks like: first, realizing that you're drained and properly recuperating, then second, realizing that you're not getting what you need to stay driven and doing something about it. Just recuperating on its own isn't enough.
Admitting you're burned out is the fist step on the path back. It can take years to get back to normal and have passion again. But it will return if you take care of yourself and avoid the kind of things that send you spiraling into stress.