https://caddyserver.com/ is implemented in Go, production-ready, and easy to setup with a one-liner (though personally I would use official binaries or compile from source rather than use the builds from a distro package manager)

apache? nginx? Serving static content off the file system is braindead simple.

What's the zero-config way to temporarily spin up an instance of Apache or Nginx that serves my current directory? The way Debian does this out of the box seems significantly higher-ceremony than that.

python -m http.server

Doesn't support HTTPS out of the box, unfortunately.