I could write a book, and it would still feel vague. And what I do for myself, isn't going to work the same way for you.
I will say that my path involved a lot of work on self-honesty. A lot of work on body awareness. (A lot of emotions show up in your body.) A lot of work on building empathy and gratitude. Meditation played more than a small role.
All of that just to get to the point where I'm aware of what I need to be aware of to start finding what works for me.
Once here on HN, someone wrote that meditation helps him/her better than all medication. Well, it strenghtens the "minds muscle" if you will, calms down and teaches handling distractions.
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The best book on meditation might be John Yates - Mind Illuminated. Got it after a recommendation here on HN.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but this sounds a lot like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), which focuses a lot on mindfulness and emotional regulation to identify "triggers" for impulsive behavior.