Have you looked into Pathological Demand Avoidance, a subtype of ASD? I was misdiagnosed with ADHD, but a psychologist steered me in the right direction. What you describe, avoiding demands, both external and internal, deeply resonates with me, and something I've struggled with since childhood. In my case it is certainly not ADHD, and stimulants don't get me unstuck, and sometimes they increase my avoidance. Guanfacine really helps, though.
I have not. But looking at it, that is clearly not a fit for me.
I've always had a pretty classic presentation of ADHD. Demands were hard for me to comply with, but I never lacked a willingness to comply when I could.
The pushing back against demands that I am describing is a coping mechanism that I find improves my self-control. But I don't avoid demands. In fact I make a lot of demands of myself - as long as they are tied to accomplishing things that I want.
