A post I made elsewhere, which seems pertinent here:
Politics and Hermit Crabs
Hermit Crabs wear a shell for protection. If they get separated from their shell, they get frantic and often die if they can't find a replacement. They don't like it when people mess with their shell.
Imagine coming up with a brilliant, powerful political argument. You can smash the shell right off your opponent. Will they thank you for it? There is a real human psychological need behind people's beliefs. There is lived experience behind these beliefs.
It can feel like a real attack when that lived experience is invalidated. People retract into their shell, or attack right back. If their shell is actually busted, they probably won't stick around and find out what else you plan on doing to them; they'll run off and they may find an even worse shell.
So what then? Just accept that they will wear a terrible shell forever?
I think that you have to accept their current situation. You don't have to accept it forever, but you have to see them where they are now. You can't change their shell, and you shouldn't expect them to change to a shell that matches yours any time soon, but if you don't drive them away, then maybe they can accept that your shell is valid, and find value in your point of view.
And to be clear, you don't have to do this for everyone, and you sure don't have to do it on social media. You may not be able to accept anyone's terrible shell right now. That's fine. But remember that we all picked up our shells from our environment; we carry our history around with us.
Politics and Hermit Crabs
Hermit Crabs wear a shell for protection. If they get separated from their shell, they get frantic and often die if they can't find a replacement. They don't like it when people mess with their shell.
Imagine coming up with a brilliant, powerful political argument. You can smash the shell right off your opponent. Will they thank you for it? There is a real human psychological need behind people's beliefs. There is lived experience behind these beliefs.
It can feel like a real attack when that lived experience is invalidated. People retract into their shell, or attack right back. If their shell is actually busted, they probably won't stick around and find out what else you plan on doing to them; they'll run off and they may find an even worse shell.
So what then? Just accept that they will wear a terrible shell forever? I think that you have to accept their current situation. You don't have to accept it forever, but you have to see them where they are now. You can't change their shell, and you shouldn't expect them to change to a shell that matches yours any time soon, but if you don't drive them away, then maybe they can accept that your shell is valid, and find value in your point of view.
And to be clear, you don't have to do this for everyone, and you sure don't have to do it on social media. You may not be able to accept anyone's terrible shell right now. That's fine. But remember that we all picked up our shells from our environment; we carry our history around with us.