True facts, this. My spouse never had to wonder where the electric or gas money was coming from, even though their family is really frugal despite making really good money, and I'm still surprised at their decisions that I irrationally describe as extravagant even though they're better decisions all told.
Even though I have a great job now and have for years, I still find myself shying away from good things that I really can afford, or buying cheap shoes when dropping a Benjamin is better even in the immediate term.
Coming from the more well-off side, it makes friendships with people on the other side harder as well. By chance a good chunk of my social circle in college was less well off than me, and while we liked playing games together I got weird looks for buying shirts new at Macy's or Michelin tires. It just seemed to rub them the wrong way, like they thought I was trying to show off or rub something in their face even though I'm just upper-middle-class and buying what I saw as the best product for what I needed. It's not like I was showing up in a new Lexus or something. Some of them also expected me to drive them everywhere even though they had working cars of their own, and that got rather toxic after a while.
Can confirm this. Middle class here. Have a relationship with someone well-off. I view it as cultural differences that we need to overcome. In our case we did. The only "downside" is that it takes a very consistent form of energy. I'm constantly thinking "if I'd be as rich as she is, how would I deal with the situation?" I can imagine it to some extent due to how I play poker and seeing parallels with my stack size versus my financial situation. Long story short: when I feel I don't have enough, I get very tight on my spending. When I feel I have enough, I get loose and lax. As one might imagine, I wasn't a very good poker player because of that ;-)
I’ve been with my fiancée 10 years, she was solid middle class with a single mother teacher, I am pretty solid upper middle class growing up.
I just want to say that if allowed to happen you can really be a force together, a moderation force coming from your side and your SO. She buys higher quality trash bags and tires (lol) now and I don’t splurge on stuff all the time now, and don’t waste as much money.
I really appreciate the perspective being with her has given me.
Even though I have a great job now and have for years, I still find myself shying away from good things that I really can afford, or buying cheap shoes when dropping a Benjamin is better even in the immediate term.