> Every leisurely lone time that I once used to enjoy now feels like pointless escapism and filler,
This is exactly how I feel. I've been looking towards early retirement through frugality as a means of escape from what has been a very stressful life to me, a life where I couldn't enjoy much because I pretty much constantly felt overwhelmed (almost bullied by the world in general) and anxious.
But as I'm slowly able to give myself more room, as I realize I absolutely could hide out at home and protect myself from that stress that's been tormenting since childhood, doing only what I really want to do, I'm also increasingly confronted with an emptiness, with not knowing what it is that I "want to do".
I suffer from depression though (which comes with the symptom of anhedonia, the difficult to enjoy activities), and I don't have meaningful social interaction in my life. Doesn't that interaction give you pointers on how to spend time by yourself? I've always imagined shared projects or goals could fill some of the emptiness I feel by providing purpose. I remember team activities as being motivating.
This is exactly how I feel. I've been looking towards early retirement through frugality as a means of escape from what has been a very stressful life to me, a life where I couldn't enjoy much because I pretty much constantly felt overwhelmed (almost bullied by the world in general) and anxious.
But as I'm slowly able to give myself more room, as I realize I absolutely could hide out at home and protect myself from that stress that's been tormenting since childhood, doing only what I really want to do, I'm also increasingly confronted with an emptiness, with not knowing what it is that I "want to do".
I suffer from depression though (which comes with the symptom of anhedonia, the difficult to enjoy activities), and I don't have meaningful social interaction in my life. Doesn't that interaction give you pointers on how to spend time by yourself? I've always imagined shared projects or goals could fill some of the emptiness I feel by providing purpose. I remember team activities as being motivating.