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Imposition and compromise need not derive from a transactional relationship model

One can just as well feel compelled to constantly compromise if one's acquaintances don't share one's needs and values, for instance



Compromise is indispensable. I can't imagine sustaining a relationship with someone who wouldn't compromise, and I can't imagine anyone wanting a relationship with me, if I were the kind of stubborn ass that doesn't compromise.


agreed, it's necessary and good in some quantity, although compromise in personal relations seems distinct from the sort of compromise demanded by e.g. social pressure or professional or political circumstance, and in any case finding a comfortable balance between compromise and self-assertion is not always easy


In my 30's my therapist called that "being a doormat."


my sense is there are defensible reasons you might not want to be assertive or entirely transparent to everyone around you

doesn't necessarily mean you're letting yourself be trampled


It is not healthy to live under that kind of pressure from others. And one thing therapy taught me: there is absolutely no reason for you to live under that kind of pressure. None. It is your choice.




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