My favorite term in these agreements is the one forbidding you from even mentioning the existence of the agreement.

If you've never signed an NDA that prevents you from speaking about the parties involved in another NDA you haven't lived!

How does this work? Can an NDA prohibit you from talking about itself, or does it have to be structured in a cycle, with one NDA protecting "future NDA", and the next NDA protecting "the last NDA"?

There is always an NDA you can talk about - but that NDA could consist solely of the contents "All agreements signed while employed with so-and-so are confidential" - which restricts even your ability to discuss the parties of other NDAs.

The one I've seen prohibited talking about itself, except with a lawyer.

Interesting experiences, but without the names of the companies (or at least what they rhyme with), what can we actually learn from your story? There’s a shit company and a great company out there, and good for you for ending up at the good one. But this just reads like a form of humble brag.

Knowing the name of the first company doesn't help make my point that lawyers may advise you that you can't win a fight with a crappy company.

I considered naming my current company but didn't want to be called out for promoting it. If that comes across as a humble brag to you, I can live with that.

I don't even know what that means when you say called out for promoting it, good companies deserve name recognition - your unwillingness to name at least the current company is disappointing.

You didn't name them. You could have shared and accepted.

Correct. I didn't name them. I'm not sure what "shared and accepted" means. Mostly the "accepted" part.

The buyout offer

I think you mean severance agreement. Had I talked about how I was fired, I wouldn't have seen a severance agreement from that company.

If I'm misinterpreting what you're trying to say I'd encourage you to make it easy for me to understand.