It’s not just religion. In Bangladesh, where I’m from, there’s a whole bunch of social norms and practices enforced by your mom talking about you to your aunties and your dad talking with your uncles. In fact, my family was quite non-religious, but we still had all this cultural infrastructure.
Two concrete examples. Families have strong involvement in marriage. This isn’t just “here’s your spouse take it or leave it.” It’s a process by which people who have been married a long time and coach a young person about what qualities to look for in a marriage partner. (I remember my wife remarking 8 years into our American-style marriage that she was surprised by how inconsequential her dating preferences at 25 turned out to be. “Who cares what kind of music your husband likes at 2 am when the baby is crying?”)
There’s also a lot of active coaching in marriage. I remember my dad being dispatched by the aunties to fly to another state to coach a young couple going through a rough patch.
Two concrete examples. Families have strong involvement in marriage. This isn’t just “here’s your spouse take it or leave it.” It’s a process by which people who have been married a long time and coach a young person about what qualities to look for in a marriage partner. (I remember my wife remarking 8 years into our American-style marriage that she was surprised by how inconsequential her dating preferences at 25 turned out to be. “Who cares what kind of music your husband likes at 2 am when the baby is crying?”)
There’s also a lot of active coaching in marriage. I remember my dad being dispatched by the aunties to fly to another state to coach a young couple going through a rough patch.