Just a thought, but what if you set a daily time limit of being fully engaged and present with your wife, say for an hour or two, but then it is understood that you need ~3 hrs of alone time.
Sounds like you’re an introvert and need time to recharge from managing a team and you’re burnt out from that.
I think she’d be delighted with an hour a day of full presence, perhaps more on the weekend.
This is a good suggestion and something I am going to attempt to negotiate. I think part of the problem is something a person called out below -- we are fundamentally different. She does not need the same amount of time alone and may resent me for wanting that. But something to try.
Counselling might help too, perhaps. It can be very difficult to explain what you need and why, but doubly so when the other party has difficulty hearing and understanding what you're trying to say. A professional counsellor can really help with that.
If she resents you for something that is your nature, that’s (as you know) unsustainable. Resentments like that may need to be dealt with with the help of a neutral therapist.
I’m not sure how I would feel if my partner wanted to spend 3 times as much time alone as with me. That’s kind of degrading unless you are both into that.
What are you getting out of the relationship at all? Sounds like they should leave and be alone.
In the TV show Six Feet Under one of the couples found happiness when they realized they shouldn't live together but they were happy to date each other and see each other regularly, just not all the time, because the boyfriend went through cycles when he enjoyed socializing and cycles when he wanted to be alone.
That strikes me as fine if both people are happy with the arrangement, but if kids are in the picture or one of the partners is unhappy with this arrangement I don't know if it will work.
Yea for sure but I think the message is that 1 hour of engaged time - such as going on a short date (at home or other) is much better than 4 hours disengaged and thinking of work while watching Netflix
Sounds like you’re an introvert and need time to recharge from managing a team and you’re burnt out from that.
I think she’d be delighted with an hour a day of full presence, perhaps more on the weekend.