The first year and a half is the worse for separation with children, at least for me. Trying to be involved in the same capacity, whilst maintaining a job and rebuilding your own life is a lot of work. I was constantly exhausted, often forgetting to eat and drink and barely functioning. There were some friends and family that really came through for me during those first 18 months.
In terms of skills, like I say you just have to work with what you have. Don't imagine you have to be the best at something, but be solid. Let your experience make you dependable and steady - focus on consistency and being the 'calm one'. That's really come through for me in recent years.
Thanks for the reply. I've been looking after the kids 3 days a week plus half of weekends and holidays for 2 years now. Sleep was a problem for a bit but the kids are 5 and 6 now and sleep well. I didn't eat much last year and exercised a lot so was in great shape, but now I'm happier this year I'm eating and drinking more!
Work is ok. I realise it's a means to an end supporting the family and do what I need to do and try to be kind to people around me. I owe a few close friends for helping me be where I'm at now.
Sounds like a similar deal. I was 'allowed' to take the boys for my first holiday with them in years the other week and it was complete bliss. Blackpool beach has never felt so special...
One thing I've been meaning to ask someone in the same position - how do your friends with kids treat you now? Especially those that knew you with your ex? I often feel like they're almost jealous of my position of getting a few days 'to yourself'. It's hard that I feel they're less likely to hear me, or relate... Does that happen with you?
I'm on Twitter with the same name so feel free to reach out. Good to keep a single dad's club going.
We have a 50% kind of deal so holidays aren't a major problem although I was told not to take the children overseas. Not a problem this year! I've enjoyed a week in Wales this year and a week in Scotland last year. Can be a bit awkward just with the 3 of us as their mum has a bigger extended family but we still enjoyed ourselves.
I get that a bit. I'm often the only dad in the playground with a sea of mums and a few have said they'd love to have time to themselves. It's important, I think that's why I'm single but I'm not sure. I think it's just important to relate to people equally on a gut level and be kind when you can. It would be nice to have sympathy sometimes but it doesn't really help that much. Things are good right now, but they could easily be better or worse!
Unfortunately I'm not on Twitter but good luck with your journey. Good to talk.
In terms of skills, like I say you just have to work with what you have. Don't imagine you have to be the best at something, but be solid. Let your experience make you dependable and steady - focus on consistency and being the 'calm one'. That's really come through for me in recent years.