Damn, I might be guilty as charged! Not long ago, I officially launched greenleaves.io, a logistics startup. The main issue I have with the about us thing is, that for now it is just me. So I use a lot of we and such (the co founder will join as soon as there is enough money to sustain a second person, we both have family, so...).
Would you to have quick look at https://greenleaves.io/about/? Because the last two weeks told me that I might be overthinking a couple of things...
Then sit down and "tell your story" in writing as if you were telling it over beers at a pub to a few new-ish friends who don't all equally well know your backstory. Get someone to read through it before publishing it. Good feedback is very helpful. Also, grammar check, spell check, etc.
You want to be somewhat entertaining, but more importantly you want to capture as succinctly and compellingly as possible why you are uniquely/especially qualified to offer a new and better solution to an old and tired problem space, basically.
There's also a movie clip I like and I've written about why elsewhere, so let me link you to that write up:
I actually suck at the doing business thing or I would no doubt have some brilliant tie-in here to "And if you have trouble with that, you can hire me..blah blah blah." This is why I still work for a writing service. And I blog.
Thanks for pointing me there! This whole about us thing took me longer to write than the content for the rest of the page, I hate selling myself. Seems I have my work cut out for me over the next couple of days!
Someone at a meeting recently quoted some historical figure about "If you want me to write a speech of 5000 words, that will be a thousand dollars. If you want me to write a speech of 500 words, that will be ten thousand dollars."
Writing concisely is a virtue, but getting in all the details often matters more. It's fine if the first draft is wordy. If you can reach a point where it tells the story well and is also concise, you probably have something "worth its weight in gold."
It can take a lot of time to get there. Good writing can take a lot of time. This is often not at all obvious.
My feedback is the story itself has no flavor or personality to it. It’s essentially “we’ve worked in this space all our careers and then decided to start a company.”
What I would suggest is to add your personalities and some interesting details to it. Something like “Fred started out as an intern at a lightbulb factory and soon realized he loved making things more efficient.”
Would you to have quick look at https://greenleaves.io/about/? Because the last two weeks told me that I might be overthinking a couple of things...