Write more details about the tech, potential hurdles or challenges, and how they might be addressed. Don't mention or quote investors (literally people with vested interests).
Now that I think of it, the idea of the wiki-tribune crowd-sourced news and social network is appealing, and has many similarities to HN.
Now that I think of it, the idea of the wiki-tribune crowd-sourced news and social network is appealing, and has many similarities to HN.