Indeed, I succumbed to the habit as a teenager, when I was indoctrinated by full time users who were also my peers who abused my physically in pre teen years. Upon starting marijuana usage with these peers, they saw that I reacted to the substance and proceeded to abuse me psychologically. This planted the seeds necessary to catalyze a lifetime of delusion and exploration of waste and dipping my toes into counter culture. Now almost entirely alone and disconnected from any meaningful social roots, and suicidal much of the way, I’ve long since disconnected from such malicious people.

The group of friends from high school who didn’t use marijuana ostracized me by 18 and I stopped being alive since then. Now I’m in my 40’s and have been preparing for suicide with increasing inevitability since starting weed. I “gave up” on a fulfilled life as a teenager and have coasted my way to an inevitable suicide as a “stoner”.