The idea of living in NJ/working in NYC sounds nice and lots of people with families do it, but as as 20-something in NYC (Brooklyn for me) I thought about it but can't imagine actually doing this. It is nothing to do with appearing "cool" to other people but for practical reasons. Don't underestimate the importance of having a social life and all your friends/co-workers/other connections living in the same area as you. Plus who wants to take the train after every time you go out drinking instead of just walking back to your place.
Also, it doesn't seem like the people in the article are looking for any sympathy.
I totally understand this mindset... I had it, too. And so I lived in Carroll Gardens and Cobble Hill and paid through the teeth for tiny, mouse infested holes.
But, I think that the NYC-to-NJ barrier does tend to be just that, a mindset. Because after all -- you still have to take a train back to Brooklyn, no? And its not like Hoboken doesn't have a street-filling, bar hopping main street. As for friends and what not -- the startup I work for: No one person lives with 15 minutes of another (in the technical team.) NYC is spread out enough that I think it is rare to have a ton of friends living close by, unless you're living in the trendy parts.
It has been my experience (after moving to Hoboken) that any "negative" that people perceive about Hoboken is either just made up (they've never visited Hoboken) or, and this I totally understand, is "I don't want to live in Jersey." Which is why I say I'm still a New Yorker.
Also, it doesn't seem like the people in the article are looking for any sympathy.