Right, I need two keylocks 7 feet apart that need to be turned simultaneously after a security code has been punched in.

“Turn your key, sir.”

I'd rather a huge, Dr Frankenstein style throw switch that produces sparks and lightning when I pull it.

Or how about an aviation/racing type switch with a red safety cover?

e.g. http://www.pilotautomotive.com/lighting/PL-SW26.html

Nah, I feel the switch needs to be big enough that two hands are required to pull it

preferably labelled "magic"/"more magic"

Straight up implement the release process in TIM.

Or maybe something like the box from Hellraiser? ;)