When you can explain why people trade hard-earned cash for cryptocurrency but would never buy your UUIDs, then you'll understand the flaw in your argument.
Hint: It's not because they're stupid or deceived. Go deeper.
Follow me on this one. If I hold all my currency in a service like Coinbase, how do I know that I actually bought bitcoins? All I see is a pretty interface that says "you have x bitcoins" and maybe a list of hashes and whatnot.
To a non-technical, these hashes and numbers are totally meaningless. As long as everything is done through my service (coinbase, for example) nobody has any idea if there are actually bitcoins behind these numbers or not. You can't hold a bitcoin, I can't ask you to mail me them so I can verify that they exist. The only thing you can do is trust the blockchain, which you definitely need a technical background to understand.
So yes, with enough smoke and mirrors, I believe you could setup a service to sell people UUIDs. It hinges on non-technicals using only my service though. Obviously you couldn't do this with a real cryptocurrency, because the blockchain would tell you if the coins actually exist or not.
I might be wrong, but if you keep your coins on an exchange they are in a wallet of the exchange, with a private key of the exchange. They are linked to your account but that information is not stored in the blockchain. It's in the contract between you and the exchange. Very similar to fiat money in a bank computer. To own your bitcoina they must be in your computer. Make backups, trust your hardware. I suggest a pre 2013 Atom :-)
Hint: It's not because they're stupid or deceived. Go deeper.