As a full-time Rails developer I think some of these gripes are valid.
I have tried to get away from AR for a long time, with other ORMs such as DataMapper or Sequel, and more recently Mongoid. The AR in Rails 3 has adopted some of the good bits from both DM and Sequel, so that might make it more pleasant to work with.
In terms of templates, HAML/SASS are popular alternatives to ERB. For the admin backend; there are plugins for it.
I have tried to get away from AR for a long time, with other ORMs such as DataMapper or Sequel, and more recently Mongoid. The AR in Rails 3 has adopted some of the good bits from both DM and Sequel, so that might make it more pleasant to work with.
In terms of templates, HAML/SASS are popular alternatives to ERB. For the admin backend; there are plugins for it.