I'm 36 and already feel "old" and unfit to continue pursuing a career as a software developer, which I consider(ed?) my dream job. I began programming at ~20 yo but had to work in another barely related field (still in IT) because where I live it's more profitable as a lone ranger. It's difficult to find peers in my area.
I work as an independent consultant wearing many hats, doing all kind of weird network related jobs for small cable operators and small/medium businesses in a shitty country in south america. This includes devops tasks, planning data networks with structured cabling, fiber optics, setting up and maintaining servers, routers, switches and a bunch of appliances that I didn't even know they existed a few years ago (all that ugly shit in HFC networks). I hate my job and feel very unhappy and depressed. I'm on meds, many visits to psychiatrist lately.
All these years I kept learning all I can. I'm an avid *nix user, can program in a few languages and have read more about programming languages, libraries, frameworks, etc. that any other subject that I can think of. I dropped out of university only a few years from getting a degree but continued spending my free time learning about software development just because I like it. I enjoyed many detours with many technologies, loved learning Java, C++/Qt, Python, Go, Perl, etc. I spent too much time and money in books, online courses, software licenses, etc that I feel failed and guilty.
This mentality makes no sense to me. I don't understand why young people feel old in this area so much. It would make sense if you where pursuing Tennis (the sport), but software?
Software is a lot of solving riddles and recognizing patterns. Seriously, Silicon Valley is poisoning peoples minds.
I'm in a similar situation but I work in 'enterprise' software development. What makes you hate your job? It seems you are very skilled in various areas and others seem to recognize and value your skills- that seems to me something to be proud of instead of feeling guilty! Is it the pressures that come with the job?
Yes, I think my discomfort comes mostly from that. And from realizing that I'm getting older, with too many responsibilities and less time each day in a path with no return. At this point I even doubt switching to a software dev job would be satisfying for me anymore.
I work as an independent consultant wearing many hats, doing all kind of weird network related jobs for small cable operators and small/medium businesses in a shitty country in south america. This includes devops tasks, planning data networks with structured cabling, fiber optics, setting up and maintaining servers, routers, switches and a bunch of appliances that I didn't even know they existed a few years ago (all that ugly shit in HFC networks). I hate my job and feel very unhappy and depressed. I'm on meds, many visits to psychiatrist lately.
All these years I kept learning all I can. I'm an avid *nix user, can program in a few languages and have read more about programming languages, libraries, frameworks, etc. that any other subject that I can think of. I dropped out of university only a few years from getting a degree but continued spending my free time learning about software development just because I like it. I enjoyed many detours with many technologies, loved learning Java, C++/Qt, Python, Go, Perl, etc. I spent too much time and money in books, online courses, software licenses, etc that I feel failed and guilty.