I raised my kids in Tokyo for a year and it was painful (there are upsides too). One of the things I struggled with the most was that living in an apartment building made it very difficult to let my children run free. They'd have to head down 30 floors in an elevator and walk out to a busy street with nothing but concrete around. Living right outside Seattle now my kids open the door and are able to run in around in the neighborhood without us.
Not to mention, we had a 750 sqft, 2 bedroom apartment that cost $3,000 a month. It was a quality of life downgrade compared to living in the Seattle suburbs.
This is in very stark contrast to what I've heard that Tokyo is a city where children maintain a lot more freedom than western countries (especially the US) have moved away from[1].
When I visited it seemed true: lots of rather young kids walking around the streets on their own, tons of tiny mixed use roads for kids to freely and safely walk around in, etc. Heck, culturally they even have that Kid Tasks[1] show. It seemed a lot better for kids than NYC (where I live now), Silicon Valley (where I used to live), or small suburban towns in the south (where I grew up).
I'm also surprised you lived in a lived in a high-rise, famously uncharacteristic of Tokyo housing, which may imply you lived in a less family friendly district than the typical Tokyo resident.
Sure, when they are closer to 10 instead of being closer to 5 years old. My children were 5 and 6. They need to be 7 to take the train alone.
And yeah, I lived in Shinjuku 5 minutes walking from the largest subway in the world in terms of people going through and it and physical size. It was a busy area.
What were the locals doing in Tokyo? I think you may have been experiencing more an issue of being an outsider (and possibly being shunned a bit for that) than of actually experiencing an insurmountable issue.
They were doing the same as us with children who were around 5 years old -- going to to parks, playgrounds, and other organized activities -- it was all organized and controlled. Many locals complained to me about how exhausting it was to have kids in Tokyo and didn't enjoy it.
I never felt like an outsider at all, that wasn't an issue. The issue was that you have to make a daily effort to get your kids outside whereas in the suburbs here in Seattle, they can just go outside when they want. That's not an issue once your kids get older, but at 5 and 6 it's a little early to let them run around Shinjuku. It would have been easier if we lived outside the Tokyo center.
Seattlite here. I know people who have moved here and left because they couldn't deal with the darkness, people who are here and the darkness doesn't bother them, and people (like me) who actually love the climate including the large amount of dark days.
The dark is a real thing. It is not just the rain. It's more the large number of overcast days plus the very short days during winter months.
Whether or not it bothers you is a different matter. As far as I can tell, it's practically a biological thing. The lack of light just gets under some people's skin while others aren't bothered by it. Ask yourself, do you find gloomy days draining: oppressive clouds looming overhead, color washed out of everything, can't go outside, cold, wet? Or do you find them energizing: turbulent sky looking different every day, you snuggly in the warm light inside, doing creative stuff on a rainy day at home, or bundling up and getting refreshed by the cool breeze and rain spray?
If you're more the former, Seattle will suck your soul out and drown it in Puget Sound. If the latter, you'll love it.
Personally, it's a great fit for me. I love the contrast in weather between the summer and winter months. When it's miserable out, I love nothing more than settling in under warm lamplight and reading or coding. I can't imagine living somewhere arid. I would dry out like a frog on a hot windshield.
If you're considering moving here, I would suggest renting for a year. If you make it a full 12 months and don't feel oppressed by the climate at all, you should be fine.
Can confirm the darkenss is more of a thing than rain. Rain is easy to fix, you throw on a wind breaker. Also rain is easier to deal with than snow that other places have. The darkness on the other hand, especially if you work can be hard. Sun up at like 8:15 and down by 4:30 can be easy to miss if you spend your time in an office. Then you live the summer months and you think: "This place is perfect".
The winter is Seattle is best spent hopping from coffee shop to coffee shop and getting snug with blankets.
I have no issue with it. We get an amazing summer each year, several months of straight sunshine. I like that the weather changes and we have a variety of weather. 30 minutes from my home to snow skiing in the winter. My only issue is that it's never really warm enough to swim, though you can if you don't mind cold water.
>My only issue is that it's never really warm enough to swim, though you can if you don't mind cold water
Surely there's indoor swimming pools you can go to. In that climate, it seems to be stupid to even bother building an outdoor swimming pool.
Of course, if you're talking about the ocean/sound, there's not much you can do there, but I never hear people in the Northeast complaining about it rarely being warm enough to swim at the beach. I doubt the water's ever warm in Maine either.
If you like open water swimming, invest in a wetsuit. I lived in Seattle for 7 years - a 2mm or 3mm thick wetsuit should make the water quite comfortable.
It's a matter of preference. Wetsuits keep you warm when the water is cold. I find them more enjoyable for that reason, but if you're the type that likes cold water then you'll probably find them restrictive.
It depends on the season. Sunny weather sucks in the winter. When it is cloudy in the winter the weather is nice and mild, when it is sunny it gets bitterly cold. I would take cloudy over sunny any day during the winter. Of course, I'm someone who prefers it to be overcast. The worst part of the year, for me, is the summer when it is hot (80s and 90s) and sunny for months on end. That sucks. The best seasons are the fall and spring when the temperatures are warm and it is partly cloudy.
I remember somebody once posted a weather map of the country here, where he defined an ideal day and counted the number for each area. Seattle actually did pretty well, though this is coming from a Maine resident, so pretty much everyone else wins.
Not to mention, we had a 750 sqft, 2 bedroom apartment that cost $3,000 a month. It was a quality of life downgrade compared to living in the Seattle suburbs.