I met Justin Calback one week before the news exploded. I was so shocked, even though I have not (yet?) had awkward experience with Justin (he has actually has been pretty helpful).
Throughout my work on both sides of the table, I’ve been lucky to have met many very helpful and respected mentors/peers, however, this “risk of networking for female” has never been strange. It started with this: I reached out to someone for advice/business, meetings went great and constructive, a couple of emails and coffee, before I got excited about having a great connection, they may ask for a drink. At first, I was confused but agreed, wondering if this is the “valley/American culture” that I should get used to, then things unexpectedly turned awkward even if I tried to keep the conversations professional. Eventually, I don’t know how to maintain this connection.
Now that I’ve learned to “keep things professional”, but compared to my male friends’ networking experience, I still haven’t figured out the best boundary to set. Does “being professional” mean that I can’t have personal talks with male professionals? If a guy can be both professional connection and personal friend with another guy, why can’t I? I thought that only Asian people mix business and personal connections (given how popular wechat has been used as a “virtual business card” in China), turns out that in US, it’s not that different: you see male investors get drinks to catch up or meet new friends, afterwards they become good business partners.
I believe this is not the first time a female talk about this. Many people’s reaction may be: oh she must have given some hint that caused misunderstanding, or, when a guy does that, just stay away from him.
Hey, what if an attractive lady got into this uncomfortable situation from 1/3 of her networking?
I’m not here to complain. I’m sincerely hoping to hear some advice on how to best handle this networking difficulty, because as far as I know, I’m not alone.
Throughout my work on both sides of the table, I’ve been lucky to have met many very helpful and respected mentors/peers, however, this “risk of networking for female” has never been strange. It started with this: I reached out to someone for advice/business, meetings went great and constructive, a couple of emails and coffee, before I got excited about having a great connection, they may ask for a drink. At first, I was confused but agreed, wondering if this is the “valley/American culture” that I should get used to, then things unexpectedly turned awkward even if I tried to keep the conversations professional. Eventually, I don’t know how to maintain this connection.
Now that I’ve learned to “keep things professional”, but compared to my male friends’ networking experience, I still haven’t figured out the best boundary to set. Does “being professional” mean that I can’t have personal talks with male professionals? If a guy can be both professional connection and personal friend with another guy, why can’t I? I thought that only Asian people mix business and personal connections (given how popular wechat has been used as a “virtual business card” in China), turns out that in US, it’s not that different: you see male investors get drinks to catch up or meet new friends, afterwards they become good business partners.
I believe this is not the first time a female talk about this. Many people’s reaction may be: oh she must have given some hint that caused misunderstanding, or, when a guy does that, just stay away from him.
Hey, what if an attractive lady got into this uncomfortable situation from 1/3 of her networking?
I’m not here to complain. I’m sincerely hoping to hear some advice on how to best handle this networking difficulty, because as far as I know, I’m not alone.